This is a followup from a previous story:
VLADAMIR LUGOSI PUTIN THE IMPALER BANS ALL PUPPIES IN THE RED BLOC!
This story follows up with:
BREAKING: PUPPY PACKS PRESERVED!
Fed up with the Russian Hounds, St. Patrick gave the Irish a new reason to proudly pound packs of Guinness and Carling, when a giant statue of St. Patrick came alive to punt the puppy packs which have ravaged the Irish countryside, since Putin banned all puppies from Russia.
Shown here, in the bottom right corner, these puppies are so poor they can’t afford proper pigmentation. Stuck in monochrome, these precious packs of precocious pups were solely responsible for the suffrage of locals!
“I don’t mind immigrants, but the least they could do is pick up their own poop! All they do is bark and yip and yap and eat and poop! Seriously, you’d think they think cuteness is a commodity!” Ms. De Vil went on record saying, “Russian fur is sooooo last season, too!”
Local butcher shops were also perturbed by the packs. According to one Scot-Irish: “Ye cannae make a good banger with these pups! They taint even wieners!”
Every since “The Great Bangers and Mash” controversy, puppy meat in sausages is banned if it isn’t produced through licensed cultivation of wiener dogs. This has given the Irish few choices, especially with their puppy hating blood. If only they were Americans, and learned to love and cuddle the canine breeds, it might not have been necessary for St. Patrick’s statue to come alive, and shoo them all across the channel. Where will the puppy packs proceed? Nobody knows for sure, we just hope that they find love in some kind loving country, which loves immigrants. As it stands, French authorities have reported locals, for miles around, are hearing puppy paddling, as these playful pups cross the channel looking for a home.
For SHEAMUS on Ireland! Will none of you give these pups a loving home?