Celebrating its 50th anniversary, Boeing’s ConcordOR has had a long and lustful life.
“It’s almost as if it were just yesterday that the FAA was denying our petitions to cybernetically clone a giant condor in our labs!” Boeing P.R. Spokesman Line Liarman opened his speech at yesterday’s press conference, while wielding his still bloodied Louisville Slugger, “But we beat them in the Supreme Court, leaving several broken bones behind with their sad arguments against robotic dominance!”
Touted as a crucial step in biological and electronic advancements, Boeing’s cyborg creation first took off in 1969 to much fanfare. The electronic eyes allowing it to see through the curvature of the Earth, has given the ConcordOR a heads up over all competition.
There have been troubled incidents in its past, such as the unwanted sexual advances upon the PAN-AM Flight 8007-Y, the young which were produced outweighed the trauma suffered by Flight 8007-Y’s passengers.
“I can still hear the squawking and thumps against the fuselage!” are common statements by those who experienced the circle of life, but that’s only one side of the story.
“When the chicks from that union were hatched, it brought tears to my eyes! I was a proud grandfather!” Boeing Executive Hatch Churchill had to comment. “Of course, we had to take precautions to prevent it from happening again, especially with the custody suit filed by PAN-AM, but it eventually worked out to a lucrative settlement for everyone in the industry!”
Still, it’s not all love and games, and life leads to aging and death. How many years does the ConcordOR have left in his wings? We don’t know. We just know that at 50, he’s still going strong, and we as a whole have benefited greatly from his super sonic speed!
Here’s to you and your 50 years, ConcordOR, and here’s to another 50 more!