EXTREME DROUGHT KILLING MARX PLANTS; LENIN IN SHORT SUPPLY!

The international drought that’s affecting all forms of plantlife is now affecting your dinner table. Yes, your fine Lenins may now be replaced with cotton!

The reason? Marx plants require at least 52 inches of rainfall per week in order to supply you with the vibrant lush, full color Lenin you’re used to. Now? Barely enough rainfall to give you monchrome Lenin.

Sure, many families have since gone toward the more democratic cotton, but what about tradition? Full color Lenin, even the lush red kind, produces the softest, most serene and comforting feeling anyone could ever want! The coolness of the fabric just seems to swallow its user whole, consuming their every thought with the communal serenity of evening socializing with their neighbor.

Yes, it may be that your time for Lenin is coming to an end, as the once full rainbow of table setting color has been reduced to black and white, and this loss of color may be permanent, as there seems no physical or theoretical way to restore Lenin to its former glory.

“Well, let’s all just switch to cotton!” you might say! Unfortunately, reports of sub standard cotton, with less vibrance, are flooding the FDA emergency line. The drought affecting this warming world seems to be extending to all forms of plantlife, no matter how its manufactured or implemented.

Even the Asiatic, and nigh invulnerable, red Lenin-lite plant has begun to suffer from the continued environmental disaster hitting all continents. We must all change and adapt, to prevent further spread of this environmental calamity, or maybe our own cotton will next to face the fate of traditional Lenin.