Frustrated with the currency limitations imposed upon purchasing early morning foods, Prime Sea Lord, ThereSea May Serpent, has been demanding an early exit from all fast breaking activities conducted in the morning.
“No powdered doughnuts, no bangers and hash, and certainly no Americanized Pancakes that threaten our identity of pure British Noblemen and Women!” PSL Serpent demanded, as she rained the filthy Thames water down upon the House of Lords.
The public in general seems to agree with the sentiment of how the European Continent has permanently destroyed the British Past-Time of eating a tasty morning meal, but none like this deal. Unfortunately, Parliament can’t agree on which breakfast foods are strictly European and which are good for the British Soul.
“Pancakes out?” Eric Idol cried, “But, what will I use to help wash down the Spam!?”
Many others were also upset at the conceptualized lack of bangers and hash. “I mean,” said another hideously aging and godless comedian, who starred in that once famous show which was stolen by American television and turned into a real success, instead of a backwaters hick production on a communist network, “Without bangers and hash in the morning, how are we to make euphemisms for sexual intercourse? It’s literally the only reason I get it on: for the cheap jokes!”
Disturbing references aside, the reality looms: Breakfast is Out by public majority, but what will keep people going, and start up their engines with doses of protein and carbohydrates? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and now it’s threatened in Britain by a complete lack of knowledge of elected officials and the public at large.