Normally this would be in entertainment news, but the MK11 leak revealed something far more dangerous, and treacherous, to the world at large.
Wendy, from the popular fast food chain giant “Burger Queen”, turns out to be the Man, or more appropriately, the WOMan in charge of the entire world.
After the leak exposed Kabal without his face, people started to wonder, “Is this some sort of joint marketing venture?”, but a quick microscopic examination of our redesigned currency says otherwise. There, within the eye of the illuminati, rests the bright blood red hair mascot of the fast food chain most responsible for the worst bovine genocide in human history: Wendy’s.
Without further information to go on, I speculated that one can only guess if her cute little quips on twitter were part of the plan all along: endear customers, trick them into buying the unnaturally square patties, fatten them up, and then invite them to the production facilities.
Why you ask? Why would Wendy’s go to this much trouble for world domination? Why would Wendy partner herself with the most violent videogame in human history, a videogame which was banned back in 1992 for daring to show the realities of hand to hand warfare?
Business makes the world go round.
To answer that, I ask you these questions I asked myself in these investigations:
When you play a game, do you exercise? No, you sit down, developing a nice potato shaped body.
Why would she insert herself into a videogame? To blackmail members of the videogame production, by claiming they are accessories to genocide.
What is the goal of making you fat? Well, when was the last time you’ve seen a cow?
In my investigations, with the budget afforded to me by this profitable organization, I could not find one single cow, nor was I able to find anyone who has seen a cow in recent months.
When I reached out to NetherRealm Sundries for an interview, I received a no comment.
When I reached out to Wendy’s, I only heard a recording of Cary Tagawa, “Flawless Victory… Fatality!”