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Eternal Beauty Found in Tar Pit Bathing and Exfoliation!

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Eternal Beauty Awaits at La Brea!
Eternal Beauty Awaits at La Brea!

9 out of 10 Anthropologists agree, eternal beauty is just a short trip to Las Angeles, China, where the La Brea Tar Pits host a wide variety of exotic treatments meant to exfoliate and preserve the delicate beauty of humanity for all time!

“How does it work?”

Well, the tar will gradually fill each pour as you relax in its warm embrace. Sporting a cool temperature of 87 degrees F (762 degrees M, and who cares about C because it’s a made up religious unit of measurement), the tar slowly ceases all bacterial and biological function of your epidermis. While the grasping weight of the heavy liquid holds you tightly, in one tremendous, ever squeezing hug! The gasses from beneath begin to clear out all those nasty elements in your lungs to replace them with the wonderful peaceful elements of the tar.

In no time flat, you should feel your beauty preserved for all time! Who knows, you may even become a model and on display for all to admire within just a few short years!

Eternal beauty has never been so easily attainable! Visit La Brea, today!

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